Month: September 2017

LIVING A FULFILLED LIFE AS A SINGLE MOTHER

That you have kids as a single mother is not a reason to live a life without purpose. I see lots of single mothers who fell into despair just because of this. You and your kid(s) can flourish, live happily even as a single mother. There are lots of examples of people raised by single mothers and are fulfilled today. That they made it could be an inspiration for you to make it. DON’T GIVE UP ON THE SITUATION. Some of the people on my list include:

1. President Obama
He was raised by his single mom and grandparents. Obama said in a televised speech. “My father left my family when I was 2 years old, and I was raised by a single mom who had to work and who struggled at times to pay the bills and wasn’t always able to give us the things that other kids had.” Today, the story is different.

2. President Clinton
He was brought up primarily by his mom and actress Bridget Moynahan, who went through her pregnancy alone after splitting from Patriots quarterback Tom Brady.
There are so many others brought up by a single mum but today are doing just fine. All these are proofs that single motherhood is not just manageable, but also an incredible gift that allows you to shape your child into a wonderful human being. The challenges will come, stand tall and firm, you will come out glorious.

For more and individualized counseling session, join us at Living Proof Praying Women Int’l, 1st Saturday of every month.
Time: 11am
Venue: Bible Guest House, Beside NYSC Secretariat, Wuse Zone 5, Along Ibru Hotel, Abuja

DON’T FORCE YOUR PERSONALITY TRAITS ON YOUR SPOUSE – MY OWN STORY

My husband is the quiet – gentleman type and an introvert to an extent, which didn’t go well with me at the time. For thirty years we have been together, I did try several times to change certain things I didn’t like about him. The more I tried, the more I failed and most times results to one issue or the other.

Ofcourse, as in every relationship or rather marriage, there are absolutely things, issues or challenges only the God who joined you both have the absolute right and privilege to treat or handle. Don’t force your personality traits on your spouse.

God in His infinite wisdom NEVER makes a mistake. If you an extrovert and He give you an introvert, there is a sweet purpose to that. It is for both of you to search it out and make it work.
Do you know that, as bad as the things I had wanted to see my husband change from, I have over a thousand reason to thank God for marrying him.

Curled from my book – CATEGORIES OF WIVES .For more of this, visit http://www.pastorjulie.org/product/categories-of-wives/ or call 08031328802 for a copy of the book.

COURTSHIP DEFINED, MYSTERY UNRAVELED

What is courtship?
It is a period between when a Christian brother and a sister agree to marry each other till their wedding day. It is a period between ‘Yes I will do’ and ‘Yes I do’.
Things to note before going into courtship Psalm 11:3
1. God’s leading – Pro. 19:14, Rom. 8:14
2. Love – Make sure love develops
3. Prayer – Pray for the bone of your bone.
4. Maturity – Eccl 3:1, 5b (Physical, Social, Attraction, Emotional and Financial.

What courtship is not
1. Marriage – Hence, sex, kissing, hugging, fondling and caressing should be avoided.
2. Ordinary friendship – It must involve proposal and consent.
3. Broken courtship is not a divorce.
4. Wrong signals
5. It is not boyfriend/girlfriend.
6. It is not dating.
7. It is not a joint venture.
8. Not trial marriage/cohabitation

Why Courtship?
1. A time to lay a solid foundation Psalm 113
2. A time of knowing
3. A time of discovery
4. Time of examination
5. A time for prayer
6. A time for planning
7. A time of laying strong family alter
8. A time for goal setting
9. A time for goal harmonisation
10. A time of introduction
11. A time of adjustment
12. A time of decision
13. A time to disagree and agree without quarreling
14. A time of questions/answers

Types of courtship
1. Courtship with an unbeliever Joshua 23:10-13
2. With a divorcee Mal. 2:14 – 16
3. Secret courtship
4. Purposeless courtship
5. Open/pure courtship
6. Closed courtship
7. Turbulent courtship
8. Filthy courtship

Don’ts of courtship
1. Avoid secret relationship
2. No double dating
3. Don’t pretend
4. Don’t wear each other’s clothes
5. Don’t wear the same clothes
6. Sisters should not become cooks/laundress
7. Don’t cohabitate.
8. Don’t be untruthful
9. No sex
10. No joint account

How long should a courtship be?
1. Not less than 6 months
2. Not too long – Why?
• Can lead to sexual immorality
• Make you become less committed
• It is emotionally committed
• Evil friends can come in
• It can lead to a broken relationship
• It is too demanding
• It is costly

Warning signals during Christian courtship
1. Loss of peace
2. Lack of love and affection
3. Communication breakdown
4. Constant disagreement
5. Irreconcilable differences
6. Spiritual coldness
7. Indifferences
8. Absence of give and take
9. Pro.ocation
10. Bad character
11. Sharp doctrinal differences
12. Immaturity
13. Stinginess
14. Frequent disappointment
15. Disobedience to parents, pastor and leaders
16. Anger
17. Immoralities
18. No fear of God
19. Pride

Signs that a man will beat you after marriage
1. He beats you during courtship
2. Threatens to beat you in courtship
3. He fights anywhere
4. He is hard on you
5. He has no mentor
6. He abuses his mother
7. He has friends who beat their wives
8. He does not respect women
9. He drinks and uses drugs
10. He blames wives that were beaten
11. He is not born again
12. He has a faulty cultural belief system
13. His father beats his mother regularly

How to find the bone of your bone
Pro. 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.
Pro. 20:6 Most men will proclaim every one his own goodness: but a faithful man who can find?
Pro 4:23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.
1. Develop the right mindset
2. Know what you are looking for Phil.4:6, Gen.24:10, 2:18, Amos3:3, Gen.2:23
3. Seek help (man and divine) Pro. 23:2, Ps.32:8, John15:5
4. Make yourself findable. Gen.24:13
5. Make yourself visible
6. Free yourself spiritually
7. Make yourself attractive – Physical attraction, Spiritual attraction, Emotional attraction
8. Make yourself approachable *Emotionally sick Pro. 18:24, 22:24
9. Make yourself available – Physical, emotional, spiritual and relation
10. Build character Pro.21:9, 22:24-25

How ready are you for marriage?
Pro. 30:24-28 There be four things which are little upon the earth, but they are exceeding wise: The ants are a people not strong, yet they prepare their meat in the summer; The conies are but a feeble folk, yet make they their houses in the rocks; The locusts have no king, yet go they forth all of them by bands; The spider taketh hold with her hands, and is in kings’ palaces.

Why you must be ready to prepare for marriage
1. It is the wisest thing to do
2. Preparation is a prerequisite to good success
3. Preparation will determine divine visitation
4. Preparation will determine your appearance and continuity

Things to know
1. Know what is marriage
2. Know what is singleness
3. Know all about yourself
4. Know what the male and female gender is all about
5. You must be prepared

7 areas of preparation
1. Spiritual preparation
2. Emotional preparation
3. Mental preparation
4. Physical preparation
5. Financial preparation
6. Moral preparation
7. Social preparation

Who a child of God should marry?
1. Marry a born again child of God
2. Marry in the will of God Rom.8:14
3. Marry somebody that fears the Lord
4. Must be a single not divorced. Mal.2:14-16
5. Must be a somebody you can trust
6. Must be somebody with vision
7. Must be reliable or dependable
8. Must be prayerful and a lover of the Word of God
9. Must be somebody you know

People you must never marry
1. Sympathy
2. Sunday daraprim
3. Fire brigade
4. Celebration guys
5. Vulture guys – eat dead animals (sinners)
6. Slothful guys Pro. 19:15
7. Visionless guys Pro. 29:18
8. Fornicator guys John 10:10a
9. Molue guys – Uncultured or unprincipled
10. Amoeba guys – Unpredictable
11. Chameleon guys – Full of deceit
12. Sex hunter
13. Mummy’s boy – 1Cor.13:11
14. Alone guy – No friend Eccl.4:9
15. Contentious guys Pro. 21:9
16. Night crawlers
17. Bottle lovers Pro. 31:4
18. Stingo guys 1Tim.5:8
19. Desperado Pro. 7:25
20. A woman-man Pro. 29:3
21. Money hunter
22. The yes-sis Pro. 14:1
23. Sister-masculine Eph.5:22
24. Yes bother Pro. 20:29
25. Water minded Gen.49:4

Things to know about marriage
1. Marriage was instituted by God for companionship, procreation, protection from fornication and other vices.
2. It is for your good Gen. 2:18
3. Must not marry an unbeliever
4. Your pastor must be involved
5. You must secure the consent of your parent
6. It is till death do us part Mal.2:14-16
7. It is for mature people
8. Wives must submit to their husbands
9. Husbands must love their wives unconditionally
10. You must choose wisely
11. If one partner dies, the other is free to re-marry
12. You must seek the face of God before choosing

Delayed marriage
Pro. 13:12 Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.

Categories of delay
1. Self imposed delays as a result of our own negligence or invitation Eccl.10:8 …and whoso breaketh an hedge, a serpent shall bite him.
2. Circumstantial delays e.g. Joseph
3. Divine delays caused by God
4. Satanic delay (past lifestyle, indecision, academic pursuit, career, sickness/diseases, packaging and appearance, personal hygiene, bad attitude, bad habits, character flaws, parental influence, family conflict, financial limitation, physical stature, disability, unwise action, wrong association, lost opportunities, lack of boldness, insecurity, choosiness, lack of preparation, immaturity).
5. Spiritual marriages
6. Family curses
7. Delayed conversion
8. Divine delay (positive and negative)
9. Chains of relationship
10. Canopy ministry
11. Ignorance
12. Excessive focus on career
13. Body or mouth odour
14. Location
15. Marital misconception
16. Physical outlook
17. Too much closeness to guys
18. Soul-ties ‘I will only get married to a man like my father’
19. Fear
20. Domineering spirit
21. Evil standards
22. Broken relationship
23. Sickness
24. Denominational sentiments
25. Tribal sentiments
26. Dirty past
27. Disobedience to God 1Sam.15:22
28. Deception
29. Wrong association
30. Double life
31. Your look
32. Academic pursuit
33. Bad character
34. High bride price
35. Curses
36. Poverty
37. Evil covenant
38. Parental objection
39. Phobia for marriage
40. Spirit husband or wife

Effects of spirit spouses
1. Make you hate the opposite sex
2. Beautiful ladies look ugly to those interested in marrying them
3. Can make you to smell
4. Constant, broken courtship
5. Nightmares and sexual intercourse in the dream
6. Hatred for your spouse
7. Chronic gynecological problems
8. Frigidity and impotency

How to know when you are under their oppression
1. Constant intercourse in dreams
2. Eating constantly in the dream
3. Strange marks on your body after sleeping
4. Constant misplacement of properties
5. Fear of marriage, pregnancy and delivery
6. Moving objects in your body
7. Hatred for the opposite sex
8. Constant sadness
9. Strange voices

Living Proof Praying Women Int’l

You are welcome to Living Proof with Pastor Julie. This program is a reality talk program that houses and coordinates the activities of family/couples affair. Most activities of couples/family affair will now run under the umbrella of Living Proof with Pastor Julie.
Living proof with pastor Julie will is aimed at:
1. Providing the platform or forum where marital issues will be shared, aired & resolved.
2. Providing a platform for healing marital wounds through shared experiences. Here, live testimonies of peoples’ past and present experiences and how they were resolved are shared to ignite hope and revival in dying marriages.
3. Restoring lost love and reuniting divorced couples.
4. Conducting real time interviews with pastor’s wives and leaders in the ministry with the intent of learning in more practical terms how to build our homes.
5. Instilling and encouraging dress sense for women in ministry.
6. Empowering the singles to be more focused and result oriented and many more.

This Program runs under the platform of the Redeemed Christian Church of God
Venue: Yet to be concluded.

Living proof with Pastor Julie holds;
Every second Saturday of the month
Time 9am
Venue: Redeemed Christian Church of God, Great Grace Assembly, Garki 2, beside Access Bank
For counseling, prayers, healing, deliverance, and empowerment.